Posts Tagged ‘Pharrell

23
Oct
09

Ten Fellatio-Friendly Rap Songs

Gettin' Head Tease

Disclaimer: Mature content ahead. If you are younger than 18, please click here.

Hey, someone had to do it – why not me?

Rappers are among the most outspoken supporters of the fine art of fellatio, so much so that they dedicate entire verses or even songs to singing its praises. I mean, who doesn’t enjoy a friendly game of tonsil tag now and then? 

Offensive? Somewhat, although protected by the first amendment. Hilarious? Always, as long as you’re open to frequent vulgarities and an assumption of male dominance. Although, in the woman’s defense, this particular act of oral sex simply cannot be forced. Just ask Delou Bowers.

Anyways. Let’s get down to business, shall we? Here are nine fellatio-friendly rap songs that would make even Karrine Steffans blush.

 

1. Akinyele ft. Crystal Johnson – “Put It In My Mouth”

Prime Example:

Numbing up your tonsils like ambesol anesthetic
Cummin’ down your throat like chloraseptic

This here is the grand-daddy of ’em all. This is the song that should have instantly sprung to your mind upon reading the title of this post. Not only was Akinyele’s raunchy ode to oral stimulation the first of its kind when he dropped an EP of the same name in ’96, but it’s pretty much the sole reason we know who the hell he is. The Queens rapper masterfully solidified his relevance in hip-hop history with lines like “I be like Herbie and hand you a cock” and “I’m givin bitches permanent beards/Put your lips here and catch these damn facial hairs.” He even got female vocalist Crystal Johnson to cosign the activity, spawning countless YouTube tribute videos and reassuring ladies everywhere that it’s okay to use their “brain.” Genius.

 

2. Tear Da Club Up Thugs / Three 6 Mafia – “Slob On My Knob”

Prime Example: (Too many, but the opening line gets right to the point..)

Slob on my knob like corn on the cob”

The Three 6 fellas have never been ones to beat around the bush, quite literally according to this track from Memphis collective Tear Da Club Up Thugs’ CrazyNDaLazDayz (“I didn’t want the cat/ So I vamped out and never came back.”)  Juicy J is straight-forward in his demands, telling his partner firmly “Lay on the bed, and give me head/ Don’t have to ask, don’t have to beg.” Dunno how effective that strategy would be for us regular folk, though I could only imagine what kind of groupies J was messin’ with. Must be classy if she would agree to “Squeeze on my nuts, lick on my butt/ The natural curly hair, please don’t touch.” Yes, these are the same dudes that were the first black rap group to win an Academy Award. MLK would be so proud.

 

3. Cam’ron ft. Lil’ Wayne – “Suck It Or Not”

Prime Example:

I approached her, slight grin, white Timbs
Number you can type in, said she don’t like men
I just laughed, ma, if we link, we link
You don’t like men? Me neither, what a coinkidink

I still can’t believe that a song that so blatantly depicted getting face would get this much radio spin, especially in the major New York market. I mean, even the edited “Touch It Or Not”  from Cam’ron’s ’06 disc Killa Season revealed Killa Cam & The Martian ‘s intentions – from Cam warning  he knows “it’s white but here come the hot sauce” to Waynechillin’ like a scarecrow, lookin’ for some brain.Weezy also echoes Biggie, another member of our list later on, with his sentiment of “hoping she swallows.” Don’t we all?

 

4. Shawnna ft. Pharrell, Too $hort & Lil’ Wayne – “Gettin’ Some (Remix)” / Shawnna ft. Ludacris, Lil’ Wayne, Too $hort, Rick Ross, & Pimp C – “Gettin’ Some (Remix)”

Prime Example:

Santa Claus, I leave her with a white chin
Yes I get a lotta neck like a violin”

This is another example of a somewhat radio-friendly single centered around juicin’ the ol’ pole. Multiple rappers jumped on Shawnna’s ’06 single “Gettin’ Some” to offer their unabashed approval but Weezy once again steals the show with his sexual witticisms, sometimes resorting to drastic measures because “they go so hard, [he] gotta wear a cup.” Even Bill Clinton gets a special shout out from “head honcho” Ludacris who, unsurprisingly, “chokes on the fruity while this lil’ cuties chokin’ on me.” Sounds to me like the breakfast of champions.

 

5. Snoop Dogg – “Head Doctor” 

Prime Example:

She might be cute, she might be thick
But she will get G’d if she don’t suck dick”

I know what you’re thinking, ‘What kind of list would this be without including Snoop D-O Double G?’ “Head Doctor” is the West Coast OG pimp’s reminder that he isn’t afraid to “spit that shit you aggins thank.” Later on, Calvin Broadus finds himself in the middle of a threesome then clarifies that it doesn’t matter how you look, there will be repercussions if you don’t dome. That’s real talk, nephew.

6. Lil’ Kim ft. 50 Cent – “Magic Stick”

Prime Example:

I ain’t out shoppin’, spendin’ dude’s c-notes
I’m in the crib givin’ aggins deep throat”

It’s obvious Lil’ Kim ain’t afraid to get the (blow) job done. She turned a song about a male organ possessing supernatural powers to a bragfest about her tongue tickling skills. And can we blame her? Plastic surgery or not, I’d still let her flip me “head over heels.” Remember when Chris Rock classified females into 3 different categories based on their dome? Christopher Wallace’s former boo falls into the 3rd one: “the woman that likes nothing better than to suck a dick.” *Applauds*

7. Murs – “Slob My Knob”

Prime Example:

The mean bitches suck and the nice girls swallow

This gem is tucked neatly into indie sensation Murs’ 2000 album Murs Rules The World. Unlike most songs about knob-slobbin’ in which rappers boast about the amount they receive, this one actually thanks women for their generosity. Murs represents fellas all over that wish to extend their gratitude (rather than their members, for once) to the “cock suckin’ champs, the deap throat divas with jaws like clamps”  for “rockin’ the mic, cleanin’ the pipes.” He even offers to dedicate a song to “step-by-step instructions,” because really, it’s the 21st century – fellatio should be an essential weapon in every woman’s arsenal. Ladies, you know damn well how to stop your man from cheating.  Take heed.

8. Notorious B.I.G. – “Nasty Boy”

Prime Example:

Back of my mind, I hope she swallow

Although the song from the first disc of Biggie’s Life After Death isn’t strictly focused on dingers, the G.O.A.T. recognizes the importance of a lady finishing the job properly. And if she doesn’t like it, she’ll think twice next time about spilling her drink on his cream Wallows.

 

9. Naughty By Nature – “O.P.P.”

Prime Example:

It’s the longest, loveliest, lean– I call it the leanest
It’s another five letter word rhymin’ with ‘cleanest’ and ‘meanest’

It’s the second verse in this chart-topping classic that I’m referring to here. Treach dances around the actual word, but it’s not important really. You can’t tell me that the sexual encounters he’s hinting at don’t involve some degree of lickin’ the D. Plus, he kicks knowledge that can be applied to a female’s brain, “Now when you do it, do it well and make sure that it counts.” Do I agree? Yeah, you know me.

10. Nas & Bravehearts – “Oochie Wally”

Prime Example:

Lil’ young thing, go around my dick with your tongue ring”

Come to think of it, I have absolutely no idea what this “Oochie Wally” phenomenon was truly about. When it originally appeared on the QB’s Finest collection in 2000, I had no clue. When I listened to it yesterday to compile this list, I still had no clue. Was it just an excuse for Nas and his Braveheart cronies to talk about sex? How they pimp women? Whatever the reason, I included it here primarily for two reasons. One, Naish has a slight infatuation with head, as he “fuck a bitch face more than her waist for real.” For real? Doubt it. The other is one of my favorite raunchy lines of all time, when Jungle coaxes “lil’ young thing, go around my dick with your tongue ring.” Who needs a solid topic when you have one-liners like that?

 

Are there any other rap songs that celebrate fellatio in all of its glory? If so, leave a comment with your thoughts.

07
Aug
09

12 Albums You Should Look Forward To More Than Thank Me Later

Ouch!

Unless you’re sleeping under a Dwayne Johnson [II], you’ve caught wind that Toronto, Canada’s golden boy Weak Knees Drake is buzzin’ more than his Martian-like mentor before going, well, anywhere.

With the extravagant amount of jock-riding coverage dedicated to Wheelchair Jimmy, one might be under the impression that his album was the only upcoming release that mattered. Fret not, hip-hoppers, there’s plenty of illness to look forward in the remainder of ’09 to if Auto-crooning makes your ears bleed.

Here’s a list of 12 upcoming albums beyond what Young Money fan-boys and Stan-girls would want you to think. You’ll Thank Me Later.

(In alphabetical order)

Big Boi

Big Boi – Sir Luscious Left Foot

Scheduled Release Date: Sometime in the 4th Quarter

The world flipped upside-down when OutKast released Speakerboxxx/A Love Below in ’03 as two completely unique individual projects by Big Boi and Andre 3000 packaged together, eventually going platinum (though that’s open to debate). Late in ’08, the ATLiens promised a solo LP each plus a ‘Kast disc – high aspirations for two cats we haven’t heard much from in years. Sir Luscious Left Foot will be the first of the three projects, yet it doesn’t have a definitive release scheduled. Critics have mixed feelings about the leaked tracks – “Ringtone” is a Autotune-infected flop while “Royal Flush” featuring 3 Stacks & Raekwon and the snippet of smokers anthem “For Your Sorrows” are wet dreams for purists. I’d still rather listen to Big Boi on an off day than be subjected to the torture of “Best I Ever Had” repeatedly on a certain New York radio station.

Sneak Peak: For Your Sorrows (Snippet)

Bobby Ray

Bobby Ray (B.o.B.) – The Adventures of Bobby Ray

Scheduled Release Date: Sometime in the 4th Quarter

Name change aside, Decatur’s Bobby Ray is at the top of the freshman class essentially due to his versatility. Not only is dude capable of spitting relentlessly unconventional rhymes, he plays multiple instruments and isn’t afraid to go way outside the box, drawing comparisons to fellow ATLien Andre 3000. Boasting a solid mixtape effort in B.o.B. vs Bobby Ray that was as much neo-soul and rock as it was hip-hop plus entertaining on-stage theatrics, Bobby will draw the attention of OG heads and hipsters alike to his debut The Adventures of Bobby Ray. The only question that remains is when we’ll actually hear it.

Sneak Peak: Put Me On

Us

Brother Ali – Us

Scheduled Release Date: September 22nd

If you don’t know about Minneapolis’ Brother Ali, you’re truly missing out one of the industry’s most naturally-gifted MCs. Rhymesayers Entertainment signee Ali has been hard at work for almost a decade telling personal stories of discrimination, coming-of-age difficulties, societal setbacks and spirituality, making it clear that staying true to yourself is the only real definition of real. His The Truth Is Here EP was better than most rappers’ full-length efforts this year plus he pleasantly surprised fans last week by announcing the details his fourth disc US. Teaming up with soul-hop producer Ant (of Atmosphere fame) and enlisting Chuck D, Freeway and Joell Ortiz for guest spots, Ali is setting us up for a disc that could be ranked among the year’s elite projects. Close-minded listeners need not apply.

Sneak Peak: Us produced by Ant

Clipse

Clipse – Till The Casket Drops

Scheduled Release Date: October 20th

Malice & Pusha T are no strangers to struggle. From hustling white girl growing up in Virginia, grinding their way up the food chain and fighting various record labels before releasing a tepid sophomore album back in ’06, the Thornton Brothers are long overdue to begin anew. Some would complain that the duo has always been a critics’ favorite but has failed to register widespread recognition due to lack of support from their previous labels. Till The Casket Drops will be backed by Columbia and the brothers’ own Re-Up Gang Records, showcasing a top-notch production cast including The Neptunes, Rick Rubin, J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League, and DJ Khalil. Let’s hope the lackluster “Eyes On Me” featuring Keri Hilson doesn’t make the cut and lead single “I’m Good” with Pharrell generates the type of hype that Clipse deserves. Yughck!

Sneak Peak: I’m Good ft. Pharrell

BP3

Jay-ZBlueprint 3

Scheduled Release Date: September 11th

There’s not much I need to say about why the best rapper alive Shawn Carter’s third and final Blueprint installment should be highly-anticipated, it speaks for itself. Regardless of your opinion, “Death of Autotune (D.O.A.)” was the most hyped song out of New York in the past few years. Hov’s live performance of the album’s intro taking shots at various personas piqued interest and a semi-decent radio single “Run This Town” with Rihanna and Kanye West will hold us over until we get more leakage. With ‘Yeezy & No-ID primarily handling production duties and limited guest appearances (only Nas, Kid Cudi & Mr. Hudson plus the aforementioned), it will be interesting to hear the direction Hov takes sans Auto-tune and independent, as BP3 will be newly-established imprint Roc Nation’s first release. I pray “History” makes the cut, but seeing the track list, I doubt it. Either way, Hov is a living legend that your favorite rapper’s favorite rapper looks up to. How could you not be excited?

Sneak Peak: Run This Town ft. Rihanna & Kanye West

Melanie Fiona

Melanie Fiona – The Bridge

Scheduled Release Date: August 18th but Amazon says September 22nd. Also, I think it came out overseas already.. Confusing? Yea, I know.

Regardless of what genre you place songstress Melanie Fiona in, there’s no doubt girl can sang better than her light-skinded, caterpillar-eye browed T-Dot brethren. The 26-year old possesses star qualities –  she’s already toured alongside Kanye West in Europe and her single “Give It To Me Right” has been in heavy rotation, at least in the Tri-State, which is an extremely difficult market to please. Expect Fiona to showcase her multiple-octave vocal ability plus a spellbinding knowledge of R&B, soul, reggae and hip-hop on The Bridge well beyond her years. Don’t believe me? Check out her mixtape with Roots drummer ?uestlove for a small taste of what’s to come.

Sneak Peak: Ay Yo

Kamaal

Q-Tip – Kamaal The Abstract

Scheduled Release Date: September 15th

Tribe frontman Q-Tip led a team of talented musicians back in 2001 for Kamaal The Abstract, a cornucopia of jazz-hop grooves and organic pop tunes that has yet to see the light of day.. Until now. A lucky few have already heard a rough copy before the Abstract’s suffered from industry rule #4080, so all heads should be excited that Battery Records is publishing the final version later this summer. For the impatient, any bootlegger seasoned internet technician should be able to get their hands on it. I still say cop this when it drops next month.

Sneak Peak: Abstractions featuring Kenny Garrett a.k.a. Truth (Link coming soon, Word Press buggin’ right now)

7th Seal

Rakim – The 7th Seal

Scheduled Release Date: September 22nd

Arguably the best MC of all time, Rakim Allah’s third solo effort competes with Detox with respect to giving hip-hop fans blue balls, year in and year out. A decade after The Master, Rakim will craft The 7th Seal utilizing his spirituality (“G” is the 7th letter, stands for God, 7 continents, etc.) and veteran microphone mastery. Lead single “Holy Are You” dropped last month, giving hope to those of us who’ve been waiting since Kanye dropped out of college and Fitty was calling out wankstas rather than being a video prankster that the R would reclaim his throne from a bunch of fradulent characters (I’m looking at YOU Weezy. Best rapper alive? You must be joking.).

Sneak Peak: Holy Are You

OB4CL2

Raekwon – Only Built 4 Cuban Linx 2

Scheduled Release Date: September 8th

Once again, this is a prime example of a long-delayed album. Sharp-tongued Wu-Tang Clan representative will finally drop the sequel to mid-90’s classic Only Built 4 Cuban Linx to a generation of anxious admirers. If the leaked material is any indication, we may be witnessing history. “New Wu,” “Criminology ’09” and the J Dilla-produced “House of Flying Daggers” are all rawer than George Jung’s product not to mention Rae’s mixtape Blood On The Chef’s Apron is better than most rappers’ albums. Combine legendary producers RZA, Dr. Dre, Pete Rock, and Marley Marl with the Chef’s mafioso rhymes alongside Wu-Tang clansmen plus Slick Rick, Busta Rhymes, Beanie Sigel, Jadakiss and Styles P, and we may be witnessing history, people. That’s today’s mathematics, knowledge God!

Sneak Peak: House of Flying Daggers ft. Inspectah Deck, Ghostface & Method Man

The Roots

The Roots – How I Got Over

Scheduled Release Date: October 15th

Sneak Peak: How I Got Over

The hardest working band in hip-hop, if not all genres, is finding time between Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and their residency at Highline Ballroom to record their ninth studio album. Black Thought describes the LP as “more positive” than Rising Down and Game Theory, paralleling America’s shifting political atmosphere. Though it’s difficult to replicate The Roots’ energetic live shows in the studio, lead single “How I Got Over” is still a soulful ode to overcoming life’s toughest obstacles. Implementing original instrumentation courtesy of ?uestlove, Captain Kirk Franklin, Kamal Gray and the rest plus featuring talented lyricists like Pharaohe Monch, Phonte and Blu, How I Got Over should be an intriguing listen. I’m particularly excited to hear the crew cover eclectic composer Frank Zappa’s instrumental jam “Peaches en Regalia.” Just don’t count on Def Jam to promote this disc, as they have more important things to worry about.

Slaughterhouse

Slaughterhouse – Slaughterhouse

Scheduled Release Date: August 11th

At this point, including this is merely a formality as most of you have probably heard it already, multiple times if you’re anything like me. Billed as a supergroup, Slaughterhouse may be the closest thing we have to a modern-day A Tribe Called Quest or De La Soul – as my homie Rizoh points out, there is absolutely no weakest link in the group. Royce Da 5’9, Joe Budden, Joell Ortiz & Crooked I all bring something to the table while simultaneously avoiding stepping on each others toes. There is debate about who is the least impressive, but those types of arguments are futile when you’re dealing with such high quality hip-hop. This will easily be in most critics Top 5 of 2009, if not numero uno. For those that want to support, you can pre-order a copy of Slaughterhouse on iTunes now. Prepare yourself for audio massacre.

Sneak Peak: Microphone produced by Alchemist

Wale

Wale – Attention Deficit

Scheduled Release Date: September 22nd

Although the most promising freshman of XXL’s class of ’08 has yet to drop an official album, Wale has consistently put out fresh material with The Mixtape About Nothing and Back to the Feature while holding down various guest appearances and headlining his Attention Deficit tour. The Capital City verbalist and proud sneaker fiend’s debut will comment on the music industry’s haphazard approach while infusing cunning witticisms over funky rhythms & go-go style beats from Mark Ronson, David Sitek and Glitch Mob – picture Camp Lo meets Chuck Brown. I’ll forgive for recruiting Gucci Mane for his latest single, since it’s not half bad. I’m also not ashamed to admit I still bump “Chillin’,” which most of you know is uncharacteristic as I’m an outspoken Lady Gaga hater. Hopefully Attention Deficit is the dose of Ritalin that cures rap’s unfocused, ADD-plagued modus operandi.

Sneak Peak: Pretty Girls ft. Gucci Mane

14
Jul
09

Royal Court & Sound Table 7/14/09

Renee Kandy

Renee Kandy of Lawrenceville & Newark, NJ

 

Royal Court:

The Rap Up Brain Trust Half Time Report: The Best & Worst Rap Songs & Albums of 2009 (So Far)

TRU Brain Trust Determines Game’s Jay-Z “Diss” Wasn’t Worth Our Time

15 Horrible Places To Be High [via Hail Mary Jane]

Behind The Scenes of Rosa Acosta’s Photo Shoot [via Real Talk NY]

Ghostbusters Car For Sale [via Ruby Hornet]

Rakim Readies The Seventh Seal, New Single July 28th[via Grand Good]

Worst Boob Jobs Ever [via Yep Yep]

WYDU’s Mid Way Report: Top 5 Instrumental Albums [via Wake Your Daughter Up]

 

Sound Table:

DJ JS-1 ft. Masta Ace, OC & Pharoahe Monch – Ridiculous (Remix) [via Michelle at Audible Treats] (Buy the track here)

Elucid – However You Want prod. Von Pea [via Khal]

Nametag ft. Skyzoo – Back On My Shit (Prod. by Black Milk) [via Nah Right]

Skyzoo – “The Beautiful Decay” (Prod. by 9th Wonder) [via Gotty at TSS]

Twista ft. Kanye West – Alright prod. Kanye West & No I.D. (Bonus off Category F5, buy the album here) [via Perajok]

Usher ft. Pharrell – Certified (prod. The Neptunes) [NoDJ] [via 2DB]

29
Jun
09

Royal Court & Sound Table 6/29/09

Royal Court

Royal Court:

Fathers of Rap Volume 3: Michael Jackson (In Case You Are Sleepin’) [via HHIR]

7 Best and 7 Worst Moments from the BET Awards [via TRU]

Big Boi Pimp Slaps NYC [via Dallas Penn]

Lady Gaga’s Maxim Spread [via The Amajanese Blog]

 
Miss Armour

[Miss Armour reppin’ Union, NJ]

Sound Table:

Clipse ft. Keri Hilson & Pharrell – Eyes On Me (CDQ) [via Splash]

DJ Premier’s Michael Jackson Tribute Mix [via HypeBeast]

Lupe Fiasco – Ladies & Gentleman (Snippet)

Lupe Fiasco – 2 Ways (Snippet) [both Lupe snippets via LupE.N.D. Blog]

Styles P – The Ghost Sessions (Mixtape) [via Steady Bloggin]

11
Jun
09

I’m Good

 Clipse

Finally, we get some newness from the Thornton Brothers.

Malice & Pusha T hop on a Neptunes beat (duh!) with an assist from Pharrell for the lead single to their upcoming album Till The Casket Drops, dropping in late September. Expect another single soon.

Spotted at Complex, cover design by KAWS. Enjoy!

Clipse ft. Pharrell – I’m Good prod. The Neptunes





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